People get lost in the hospital all the time.

For example, say you’re walking around minding your own business and you’re asked where the emergency department is. Ahh, emergency department, well that’s two buildings away from where you and the inquisitor are. Hospitals are mazes. Most wings are built at the whims of the state legislature and egomaniacal philanthropists. Both entities often make childlike requests, such as,” this building that must always be the tallest structure on campus.” Kids with Legos could design a campus with more continuity.

Anyway, rather than give the poor guy directions that he won’t write down, I decide to walk him to the ER, thinking rationally that there must be a pretty important reason that he gets there. Mistake! People aren’t rational. I realize this for the 500 billionth time, while walking this man through the 2^nd catwalk and down two flights of stairs as he says that his friends recommended he go to the ER because he has a cold. Okay, not serious, but I’ll buy that even though using the ER as a primary practice clinic is a rant for another time. This gentleman then tells me that he needs sex pills.

Sex pills? What happened to the cold?

I look at him and he continues that he has had trouble with his emotion and it’s damn embarrassing to be on a date and not be able to get with the motion; he starts moving his arms and legs in an approximation of intercourse. I want to tell him that the ER isn’t going to give him a script for a PDE-5 inhibitor, but decide to finish getting him to the portal of the ER and let the admitting nurse deal with it. Really should have stayed to listen to the exchange.